Why oh Why?

This sucks! I ordered the sperm last Thursday and scheduled for it to be shipped out today so that it will arrive Tuesday morning. Well, I surged last night (Sunday) and was already stressing a little about timing. We decided that when we received the sperm on Tuesday it would be 36 hours since I detected the surge and that everything would be perfect. I must say that I really thought that I was going to be surging on Wednesday and ovulating on Thursday so I was really surprised when I saw that smiley face last night! But, I said to myself, Self everything is working out perfectly. Now we don’t have to worry about doing this while we are out of town and we can relax over Thanksgiving. Well, I noticed that I had not received the shipment conformation so I decided to call them. I messed up… BAD! I scheduled the sperm to be shipped out next Monday! It was too late in the day to change it and Wednesday morning will be way too late. I am having a real hard time with this. I really wanted to be pregnant by our original due date. I know that it will not make all the pain go away. But, I sure do think it will help. Now we know that I will not be pregnant by our original due date (December 19^th). I am honestly a mess, it just sucks. 

Not Yet

Well, I got my period yesterday. We will try again next month. We know it will happen soon. We are trying to be patient! But it’s hard! 

Testing Early

Is a bad idea! Let me tell you about our morning. We talked about testing this morning. I wanted to but was afraid at the same time. I think Tina felt the same way. Well I tested and that stupid little stick read “Not Pregnant”. I was not too mad at first. I know its a few days early. I still had hope. Then I decided to take the dogs out. When I let them out of their cages Mitzy ran into the bedroom, she likes to say hi to Tina so I was not that concerned about it. She was in there longer than normal so I went to check on her. She had pooped! I was a little upset about that, but I cleaned it up real quick and headed to the front door to take them out. Once I got there I noticed that she was pooping again! That was the kicker. I lost it! I love Mitzy, but I am tired of cleaning up after her! We might have to send her to obedience/potty training!

                After dealing with my emotional outburst I had to go to work. We had planned on running 4 miles this morning. We started running and I was so mad that I was running much faster then I usually do. I started getting tired around the 2 mile mark so I slowed down to my normal pace. Running has been a great stress reliever for me. I enjoy it, I look forward to it, and it has allowed me to lose weight. My only issue with it is that my legs are constantly hurting! I was hoping that the pain would get better with time, but I have been running for a few months now and it is pretty much constant. I hope it gets better soon.

                I will post on Friday to let everyone know what the little stick says! 

Coming out

                Yesterday was a crazy day!  I will start by reminding everyone that for the first 2 and a half years of our relationship Tina and I had to keep our relationship a secret at work. She was my boss for some of that time so it was hard, but we did it. After the Don’t ask, Don’t tell policy was lifted I have wanted to tell people at work and have been stressed about it. I just didn’t know how to do it. Well Tina and I talked about it this past week and she gave me some ideas and talked me though what exactly I was scared about. I felt better about telling people after that. Then, yesterday at work I wore my wedding band all day. One of my friends asked me if I got married during my vacation. I decided to just tell him and his wife the whole story. I did and they were excited for us and were more than accepting. It felt great and that helped me face the rest of the group.

                Everyone was very accepting and happy. Tina and I went to a hockey game with some people from work last night and we had a blast! I am so happy that I was able to tell everyone. Life is GREAT and I hope it will continue to get greater!