Sunrise

Day 2 of my period, blah. We had a few extremely emotional days but we are doing much better now and we are excited about this upcoming cycle. We will try again at home this cycle and I can’t wait. Trying at home is so intimate and perfect.

Other than that, a new term started on Sunday and I am trying to get all four projects that are due this week completed by tomorrow night. It might happen, but I am not sure yet. I do not want to have to worry about homework when we are in DC! This might be out last get away before becoming pregnant! We are both super excited about this trip and we just know that we are going to have loads of fun.

Work is going well; everyone is in a good mood this week because of Valentine’s Day. I guess everyone feels loved. One of my friends (you know who you are!) suggested that she should bring a flower in everyday for one of our grumpy coworkers! I think that is a great idea because this has been by far the best week for her ever. After tomorrow I will have five days off in a row and that makes me very happy.

JAKS

Try, Try Again

AWW! Bad news today! I took a pregnancy test today. It read “Not Pregnant”. I was emotional on an off all day. I cried a few times and my eyes are a little watery while I am typing this. I just have to remember that it will happen when it’s supposed to. I want this so bad for us! So, just keep praying for us. 

How Much Longer?

This wait is really terrible. I wish we could just know right away. It would be much better that way. There would be no second guessing yourself, no thinking that you are crazy, no day dreaming at the most inappropriate times, and you could just focus on next time. Instead I am doing all those things and wondering about next month. I know this is life, but I choose not to like it.

 So I have finished a book on my Kindle. It was great. I love that thing and it allows me to take my mind off things. I am pretty sure TLS has used hers for about 45 minutes so far. She does keep it changed by the bed in case she decides to have a Kindle marathon. As you all know we bought a Pop up Camper! So exciting, it is too cold to go camping right now, but we will soon. Now we don't have to worry about putting a tent up. The guy we bought it from gave us a lesson on how to take it down. He was a real sweet older gentleman and I thought for a second that he was going to cry when he was saying good bye to it. I hope Tina and I have as much fun using that thing as they did.  

 A few more days left! I am going crazy, but I know everything will be
ok. 

JAKS

Can we go camping?

So, if you only knew how long this wait really was.  It’s not just 2 weeks for me; it has been, oh……about 20 years.  That’s right, so I don’t get too impatient about 2 weeks when it has really been a lifetime.  You see, first I had to REALLY know what love is, and because of you, I do.  And while we so anxiously await this hopeful blessing, I’m so very thankful for all that I have now!

Okay, enough of this mushy stuff, can we go camping now?  Since we sold the boat (no time to be on the water, at least not like we want to for the boat that we had), JAKS let me buy a “starter” camper tonight.  I was feeling guilty about it at first.  You know, we are trying to have a baby.  Need to save money, plenty of stuff to fix around the house, etc.  HOWEVER, one of the best things about my JBear is that she reminds me that I have to take a moment to BREATHE!  LIVE!  ENJOY!  Now, this shouldn’t mean that we have to spend huge amounts of money to do so, but we have such a great time tent camping, how could we go wrong?!  

In any case, come on 2/14 with good news (yes, I am a little ADHD J), come on Spring, come on Honey ;)

-TLS

Our Kind of LOVE

Day 4! Oh my time is just flying by! I wish! So here I am at work again, just wondering if something special is going on inside of my body! I hope so, I oh so hope so. 10 more days to go and I am really looking forward to our trip to DC during President’s day weekend.  I am sure we will have fun! We booked our hotel last night and we will be able to see the Capital Building from it! I am so super excited. I have never been there and I ready to soak in all the sites, history, and fun! In English class I used to get in trouble for using so many explanation points! But I love using them, so now I can use them here! By the way I Love my Kindle, its perfect! Much easier then carrying a book around. TLS has not used hers yet. But I do have high hopes that she will. She better. 
So today my mind is telling me to calm down, we will find out in 10 days. My heart is jumping around full of excitement! I have high hopes that everything will be perfect! 
JKS

All I Want to Do

It’s day 3 of my TWW and I hate it. TS tells me that I need to stop thinking about it. How am I supposed to do that? I know she thinks about it as much as I do! She just does not talk about it as much as I do. I think about it at work, when I am driving, when I go to the restroom, when I am doing my home work, in the shower, I guess nothing really takes my mind off it. My last TWW was not this bad, so I am hoping that this craziness means that on the 14^th we will have the biggest smiles on our faces and our heart will be floating!

I daydream about everything! And I mean everything. I think about how the baby seat will look in my highlander, I open the spare bedroom and imagine baby stuff everywhere; I just see all the many positives and can’t wait to make our dreams come true. I know it will get much worse after a positive pregnancy test and will probably have to scream at myself to get things accomplished. But I guess that’s the fun part! Please let these next 11 days fly by!

Last night when I got home I made TS kiss my belly; I actually have her do it at least 3 times a day! Then that’s all I could think about, so we went and got each other our Valentines gifts (and a new kitchen sink)! We each got a Kindle! We are not very good at having patience and often give each other ours gifts days if not weeks before the actual holiday or anniversary. We always tell each other that we are going to do better, but I think we are actually getting worse! I love it though!

JKS

You Make Me SMILE!

     Last night was the night! This would be our 3^rd time trying. February 14^th better bring us lots and lots of smiles! We will wait patiently and see! NOT! So, as I am sitting here at work I will write how I am feeling about this whole trying to conceive excitement.

                First off I am so very ready to start a family with my TS! Who wouldn’t be, she is loving, caring, and just plain perfect for me. She holds me at night, smiles when we wake up in the morning, kisses me when I want one, makes me smile, make my heart jump whenever I see her or whenever she touches me, and she supports me in everything I do. She lets me be me! I know she is going to be the best Mom in the world to our children. We have been married for 18 months now and I know that this is the right time for us to start a family. These past 4 months have been crazy; TTC is fun, scary, exciting, emotional, and just plan crazy. My heart shatters for a few moments after I pee on that stick and see something I don’t want to see. It slowly goes back together as we get ready to try again, but I often wonder how many times I will have to go through this. I know a lot of ladies that have tried for much longer then I have, and I look up to them. I just don’t know if my heart can handle much more. So many questions go through my head, did we do it wrong, did I calculate my ovulation properly, and can I even have children and so on. I know TS goes through the same stuff and I want nothing more to give her a son or a daughter or both!

                So I will try and explain what my heart and mind are doing for the next two weeks. Today I am smiling a lot, day dreaming too much, and wondering is this OUR month! 

JKS