Last night was the night! This would be our 3rd time trying. February 14th better bring us lots and lots of smiles! We will wait patiently and see! NOT! So, as I am sitting here at work I will write how I am feeling about this whole trying to conceive excitement.
First off I am so very ready to start a family with my TS! Who wouldn’t be, she is loving, caring, and just plain perfect for me. She holds me at night, smiles when we wake up in the morning, kisses me when I want one, makes me smile, make my heart jump whenever I see her or whenever she touches me, and she supports me in everything I do. She lets me be me! I know she is going to be the best Mom in the world to our children. We have been married for 18 months now and I know that this is the right time for us to start a family. These past 4 months have been crazy; TTC is fun, scary, exciting, emotional, and just plan crazy. My heart shatters for a few moments after I pee on that stick and see something I don’t want to see. It slowly goes back together as we get ready to try again, but I often wonder how many times I will have to go through this. I know a lot of ladies that have tried for much longer then I have, and I look up to them. I just don’t know if my heart can handle much more. So many questions go through my head, did we do it wrong, did I calculate my ovulation properly, and can I even have children and so on. I know TS goes through the same stuff and I want nothing more to give her a son or a daughter or both!
So I will try and explain what my heart and mind are doing for the next two weeks. Today I am smiling a lot, day dreaming too much, and wondering is this OUR month!
JKS
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